I haven't been sleeping well lately. The thing that is strange about this little bout of insomnia is that I wake up in the middle of the night laughing, smiling or talking about something positive. Yes, it's as strange as it sounds.
My social worker fiance tells me I'm experiencing eustress. He explained to me the other night that there is distress which is negative stress and what we normally mean when we say we're "stressed." But, there is also a form of stress called eustress, which is good stress. This happens when there is an overwhelming amount of activity going on which causes the brain and body to react to stress in the same way it would under distress.
Understandably, eustress can be confusing because why would we be stressed when we're happy? Well, here I am. The thing is, I really truly don't feel stressed in the normal sense of the word. I'm not crying, having head-aches or anything in that realm. But I do feel different lately. A little dazed, a little disconnected from reality, a little like a walking zombie...but a very happy zombie. There's just a lot going on!
Much of the eustress is coming from my constant state of celebration over the spring and summer months this year. I am lucky enough to be celebrating my own bridal showers, bachelorette party and wedding this year as well as the bridal showers, bachelorette parties, baby showers, weddings, retirements, and countless other wonderful things that are happening in the lives of the people I love most. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm loving every minute.
In addition to all the celebrating, there is also the Ironman. It has been suggested that maybe I could let that go this year...ha! No way. It has made for an interesting training schedule, though. This past week, my friend Kylene and I decided that 4am was the best time to run 11 miles. Ok, we actually didn't think it was the best time, but when we realized there weren't any free evenings or weekend time, 4am it was.
The morning of our run my alarm went off at 3:45 and I looked outside to see rain not only coming down, but also blowing sideways. I held my phone and began a text message to Kylene several times saying, "maybe not today..." but I couldn't hit send. I knew it had to happen and if it didn't, it wouldn't happen that week. As a good friend of mine says, there's always a reason to cancel a run.
We didn't cancel. I drove to Kylene's apartment and covered in as much rain gear as we could find, we began the sloppy run down Armitage toward the lake. Lucky for us, the Chicago Teacher's Union had recently made a controversial announcement against the Common Core State Standards. As two education policy junkies, we had plenty to talk about while we ran those first 7 or 8 miles.
It was when we reached the lakefront that things got a little uncomfortable. The wind that was a gentle breeze when running past buildings and the Lincoln Park Zoo quickly became huge gusts of wind off the lake. The rain was still coming down and the sand from the beach was mixing to cause a sideways assault of wet sand against our bodies. Kylene and I literally held onto each other as we ran slowly into the wind.
Finally, thank goodness, we were back out on the streets and headed into our last two miles. The run that morning was definitely stressful, but the feeling I had afterward was another check in the column of eustress. I was tired, I'm sure I was talking in my sleep about it that night, but I was so happy to have come through the experience. Bring it on, eustress. I'm ready...and hopefully with a little more sleep soon!
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